I had a job interview today with a company that operates quite a number of homes for mentally disabled adults in the area. At this point in time I’d much rather work part-time for a book or music store, but none seem to be hiring, and as I have a considerable amount of experience in social work it’s pretty easy for me to get a job in a group home — it also pays well, which is nice. Oddly, I ran into a friend from junior high and high school that was also interviewing for the company. I hadn’t seen her in years. The interview process took three hours. I read most of Henry James’ Daisy Miller in-between the various tests to which they subjected me. One was an intelligence test sort of reminiscent of the SATs one takes in school. Two of them were rather boggling personality tests. These are some of the questions that stumped or amused me.
I sometimes feel like smashing things. (T/F)
This question was asked on the first test, and was asked three times on the second test (which contained 434 questions!). I was so mentally drained by the second test and I really wasn’t sure what to put anymore. I can’t remember a time in recent memory that I’ve ever been so incensed as to feel like smashing things. However, sometimes I do feel like smashing things — shattering glass and television sets being smashed look mighty neat and often are aesthetically pleasing given the right setting. Kill Your TV; David Letterman throwing televisions and stereos off the tops of buildings in New York City, you know?
I would enjoy smuggling items into a country. (T/F)
Sometimes I get the wanderlust and feel that if I don’t start moving I will be very sad. (T/F)
Whoa. The test knew the word “wanderlust.” I wonder how many people who take the test actually are familiar with the word.
I hate people. (T/F)
People hate me. (T/F)
I hate myself and I want to die.(T/F)
I worry what others think about me. (T/F)
One whom does not vote is a bad citizen. (T/F)
I will never amount to anything. (T/F)
I have violent dreams. (T/F)
I often wake up crying. (T/F)
I prefer Lincoln to Washington. (T/F)
I have a fascination with fire. (T/F)
I answered yes. I hope this doesn’t mean they think I’m going to burn the house down.
I enjoy teasing and being mean to animals. (T/F)
When I was a child the people I most respected and felt the closest to were female. (T/F)
I would enjoy being a racecar driver. (T/F)
I sometimes feel sadness when really clever criminals get caught. (T/F)
It is always unacceptable to be intoxicated at a party. (T/F)
I often skipped class and pretended to be sick in high school. (T/F)
I would enjoy bluffing my way into an exclusive club or party. (T/F)
There should be stricter fines for traffic violations. (T/F)
These are just some of the ones I can manage to remember — this was clearly the oddest and craziest test I’ve ever taken. I think I got the job provided those tests don’t bookmark me as a psycho — they said they were going to do a criminal check, a credit check, and a reference check (however, no fingerprint-taking) and get back to me within the week. I suppose it no longer matters as The State already has my fingerprints on file. I’m rather wary of this — sure, I’m certainly not intending to commit any crimes, but this definitely complicates things in the event a rare circumstance arises when I must needs flout the government. I guess any law breaking I do will have to be premeditated. Maybe I should stash a pair of gloves in the dashboard compartment.
After the interview the old friend and I went out to lunch and caught up on things. She had just returned from a six month DTS with YWAM in Fiji and is living back with her parents. We talked a good amount about how neither of us ever has anything to do (and have become quite well-acquainted to this do-nothing lifestyle) and consequently rarely take leave of our houses, as we have both become so accustomed to them. In fact, we stayed at the restaurant for four hours precisely because of this absurd problem. Time to kill. Underachievers of the world unite, that is, if you can muster enough motivation.
I’ve not had a job since I moved home last August. However, the break has been sort of nice, as most of my college career I’ve worked full-time and been a full-time student.