Six Seven Eight Nine Still Developing Meta-List of Things:
1.) Simon and Garfunkel were absolutely captivating. One of the best things I’ve seen all year. It was cooler-than-all-getout to see Dustin Hoffman call them the “music of his generation” after they performed.
2.) I will forever wonder what happened to the real Gwen Stefani of seven years ago and just who this bawdy, modern vaudevillian imposter is. The American People deserve to know.
3.) How in the world did Ravi Shankar end up with Norah Jones as a daughter? There is no justice in the world.
4.) Paul Shaffer looks awesome. I swear he’s crazy.
5.) I am totally pulling out my James Taylor albums when the Grammys are over.
6.) Admirable effort, Dixie Chicks, but Stevie Nicks wasn’t that long ago, girls; neither were The Smashing Pumpkins. You either ought to have waited ten years before doing a cover, or played something from your new album, specifically “Long Time Gone”. I honestly cannot figure out why you didn’t. Need a new manager? I’m game.
7.) At this rate I am going to be up so late writing this paper. Cannot concentrate.
8.) Is the bloke from Coldplay purposely trying to look and sound like Thom Yorke, or is it a blatant accident?
9.) I have yet to meet a skater boy that actually listens to Avril Lavigne. Actually, the only boy I’ve ever met that listens to Avril Lavigne is Tim Eaton. And she’s no genuine skater chick; that outfit’s totally mail-order from Delia’s, the the guys’ outfits are obviously of the Pacific Sunwear variety. Real skater chicks shop at thriftstores, in the same way that any self-respecting punk wouldn’t be caught dead in a Hot Topic. I protest! Posers. “Complicated” is a fine song, though.
10.) NO! Not Nelly! Not this song. Stop, stop, stop. Look children, look at the engulfing flames. He is singing from the depths of hell and damnation. Avert your eyes. Save your soul.
11.) Best part of Nelly’s appearance was the camera shot of Yoko Ono looking unamused.
12.) Did CBS really think they could stop artists from speaking out against the war?
13.) System of a Down should totally have beat The Foo Fighters for best hard rock performance.
14.) I have trouble taking seriously any artist that would collaborate with Kid Rock.
15.) I wish my mum still was Prince’s accountant. I recently asked her if she could pull some strings and get me a job at Paisley Park but she refuses, saying she would never send her daughter into such a situation. Some of my most interesting adventures ever were had in Paisley Park: reading Prince’s fanmail and separating the hefty charity contribution cheques from insane fans, looking in his fridge, seeing his wardrobe, watching his caged doves cry, and going to an exclusive party at Paisley Park at two a.m. senior year of high school.
16.) The Boss is my hero. I would give anything to be in the E Street Band. “The Rising” better get song of the year.
17.) Oh, oh, oh. The Academy is in trouble. They done gone and pulled another Steely Dan. The crowd was chanting Bruce, for goodness’ sake.
18.) The shots of the late Maurice Gibb’s family in the audience were really, really sad. It was great when one of the remaining Brothers Gibb signaled them out and called them “the measure of the man [Maurice]” and then gave the award to his son.
19.) Watching Eminem perform, I still cannot make up my mind about 8 Mile. I mean, sure Eminem was great at playing himself, I guess. But then what kind of accomplishment is that? It’s exactly why Courtney Love was so great at playing Larry Flynt’s wife, she was basically playing herself, after all. Same with Howard Stern in whatever his movie was called. Oh well. I guess the film wasn’t so bad, it kept my attention, anyway. And, I suppose, made the world understand him more.
20.) It just occurred to me: if Eminem wrote a smart anti-war song, he could totally direct the opinions of America’s youth regarding Iraq. That’s crazy. What power.
21.) Cyndi Lauper! “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is the first song I remember hearing on the radio. I must’ve been about four or five. A neighbourhood girlfriend and I were in her older sister’s bedroom and she was getting all dolled-up and was singing along with the radio. I remember her being quite old, but doing some math as I sit here, she must have been about ten. We thought she was so cool, so old, so sophisticated, and resented ourselves for being so young and clueless; all we had were Barbie Dolls and bikes with training-wheels. Some days later I was at my cousin Evan’s house and his mother caught me singing the song in the kitchen and promptly rebuked me. “No, that’s not how it is, Sarah. Girls don’t only want to have fun. Stop singing that.” “Okay”, I said, unsure of what lesson she wanted to impart. I mean, I was five. I sure wanted to have fun. Some days later she also reprimanded me for singing The Monkees’ theme song. “That’s not true, Sarah, The Monkees do put people down.” I still find my aunt pretty confusing to this day. She thinks there is a vast, worldwide Masonic conspiracy. Some things never change.
22.) Five words, arrange them in any order you want: Costello London Springsteen tribute Calling. My eyes got so big. It’s amazing CBS didn’t make them play “Rock the Casbah”. Good call CBS.